SMH!

I wish i can read your mind. I wish i can read your heart. I wish...
I miss the old you.

How can you be so different from the one i've known for the past year in just a month?
It's like i try so hard to holding on for a strangers.

You've changed. Or it's just me the one who actually didn't know your real self? Am i blinded by my own desire? My own feelings? I wish your feelings are exactly what i thought it would be.

I miss the old you.
With a simple black Huff snapback and futsal jersey with an apron.

I miss the old you.
Just a simple you. Someone who'll crack a same joke just to make me smile or laugh.

I miss the old you.
Those eyes which is filled with a thousand of hope for everytime you looked at me.

I miss the old you.
Those honest smile who always greet me everytime i looked at you eventhough i just replies with a small smile because i was too nervous for everytime i saw your smile. It's too dazzling in my eyes.

I miss the old you.
Who always getting excited when i look straight into your eyes and how clumsy you can be just because of that. I'm getting butterflies when i see your reactions because of me.

I'm bad at giving response. So i don't know what should i do.
I've been too careless when i decide to fall for you.
I didn't know liking you will risk so much in my emotion.
Affecting my mind and my life.
I didn't know liking you will changed me this much.
I didn't realize for a year i've been keeping this feeling towards you, accidently i've become a better person. I didn't realize you've changed me so much.
I wish i can say thank you in person. I wish i had that much confident to speaks to you.

Today, we met each other for the first time after a month you've left.
I'm speechless. I don't know how long have you notice my presence at the stairs because i didn't saw you sitting there.
But i was so dissapointed when i realizes you didn't looked at me.
I was so hurt.
I've been missing you everyday but our encounter was too short and not beautiful at all.
I'll keep you in my doa. If He wills it, we'll be together. Sooner or later. But if He didn't wills it, there must be a another person waiting for me.

Be happy. SMH!

Oh hati!

I miss you.

You don’t know,
You still don’t know my heart.

For everytime I’m looking at you I become speechless.
My breath stops whenever I see you.

But now, you've gone.

Gone without any trace.
I wandered around, looking for you.

I was hoping to see you every single day or atleast just one more time.

Only you don’t know that my heart can’t do anything.
I miss you again, I keep missing you...
I try to cover it up, I try to hide it.
But my heart is visible anyway, only you don’t know,
I miss you...

Gone with the wind!

He's gone. 

Without words. 

He left. 

Without sign. 

How could he? 

How could he did this? 

This is the answer for my prayers..

How did i fall so hard? 

From growing hope.

Farewell my foolish heart.

Barli Ais

Malu nak mengaku tapi itulah hakikat sebenarnya. Walaupun zaman serba hipster sekarang ni, tapi ayat klasik biasanya lebih menyentuh. Ayat pembukaan macam berbelit tapi sebenarnya kami cuma nak cakap, yang kami rindu! Tak sangka bila bermulanya ramadhan ni kita tak dapat jumpa dah. Ghupe-ghupenya! Apa boleh buat. Si dia pun dah ada yang punya. Tinggallah kami forever alone kat sini T.T Beza setingkat je tapi nak nampak or jumpa secara tak sengaja kemain susah. Doa jelah banyak-banyak. Kalau ada jodoh, semoga diperkenankan dan dipermudahkan Nya. Kalau jodoh tak ada, semoga kami mudah untuk move on. Tapi ini jiwang kami cakap, yang sebenarnya kami suka awaklah barli ais!!

Nighthawks

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Bila umur makin bertambah tahun demi tahun, banyak benda yang berubah pada diri sendiri. Mula sedar meaning-meaning words yang selama ni kita pandang remeh je. Tanggungjawab, komitmen, masa depan. 

Tanggungjawab sebagai anak, sebagai pekerja, sebagai hamba Allah. Komitmen pada kehidupan, masa, kewangan, hati. Masa depan pulak masih samar dan tidak pasti.

Selalu jugak diri ni dok pikir, sampai bila? Banyak perkara yang buatkan diri ni bertanya sendiri, sampai bila? Tapi jawapan masih tak jumpa. Bukan tak fikir, fikir tapi tak nampak hala tuju. Arah penentu masih belum jelas.

Biarlah aku bertatih sekalipun, susah sendiri, senang sendiri. Orang sekekeliling tahu cakap je. Janji aku bahagia dengan apa yang aku buat.

Tutup bab kareer.

Aku sendiri confius dengan perangai aku sendiri. Lepas dah buat sesuatu perkara tu baru nak rasa menyesal. Biasanya bab reaction and response la. Mesti blur and setiap kali respons tu tak kena or tak menjadi. Sebab tu sampai sekarang takde perkembangan. Entahla. Mungkin Allah cakap belum masanya kot. Takpe banyakkan berdoa kalau masuk bab jodoh ni. 

Tutup bab hati.

Assalam..

Seorang Wawa di 2016!

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Kita jumpa lagi selepas 3-4 tahun aku menghilang dari alam blogger ni. Aku dah 24 tahun dah weiii. Bila baca balik entri lama-lama tu rasa macam ya Allah!! Aku ke yang tulis entri becek tu semua?? Omgiss sangat rasa dia! Of course lepastu kerja-kerja memadam mendelete dan menghapus segera dilancarkan. Hahahaa! This is the new wawa! Gaya pemikiran, gaya menulis semua dah menunjukkan yang seorang wawa telah mencapai usia matang. Tapi kadang-kadang still boleh menjadi childish mengikut kesesuaian suhu dan tempat. Ahaks!

Aku masih macam dulu. Tak banyak yang berubah. Ops, saiz dah kecik sikettt! Pffttt. Status masih available. Bila dah available maknanya kosong lagi lah kann. Hahaha. Baru 24 kott. Muda lagi tuuu. Hihihiii.

The 24 years old of the wawa's!!

Life? Career? Hmmm. Alhamdulillah lepaslah makan pakai jenjalan shopping. Masih big spender macam dulu. Bukan saiz spender laaa! Tapi borossss!! Tapi sekarang dah kurang la sebab dah mampu fikir and nak spend kena keluar duit sendiri, so kena lah pepandai berjimat. Kahkahkah.

Bila dah 24 ni takkan tak ada teman lagi kott? Ahaa, seorang wawa ni kalau masuk bab hati dan perasaan memang fail!!!! Ada yang nak masuk line tapi seorang wawa tak ada experience so tak reti nak bagi feedback atau reaction macam mana. So dah 6 bulan kami masih macam ni. Hati nak tapi mulut tak pandai nak tolong tuan punya badan lah! Sedih. Takpe banyakkan berdoa. Umuq dah meningkat ni kena cari yang serious. Bukan untuk main-main dah. Tahun depan dah separuh abad dah weiii.

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Okaylah, untuk first entri selepas bertahun menyepi, ni je lah dulu yang mampu kami taip. Nanti kalau ada idea and time pun cun, kami update lagii. Assalam.